Stay Home Sicko
Why do some stupid people have an urge to come to work sick? When a company generously provides paid sick days for their employees these imbeciles still come to work sick. Their big excuse for coming to work sick is that they don’t want to use their precious paid sick days for actual illness. No, the rational is that sick days should be used as vacation or holiday extensions. So, they drag their butts out of bed and walk in sneezing, coughing and blowing their snouts. They are always flushed with fever making them even more contagious and they sound and look like shit but there they are telling everyone that they are ready to work. Once at their desk however, they manage to get squat done because they are constantly wiping their runny noses (or my favorite) sneezing directly at the floor. It seems that these sick idiots haven’t heard that sneezing should be done into a kleenex or the crook of your arm to prevent others from breathing in the nasty germs. These morons figure that if they sneeze at the floor, the carpeting will absorb all the saliva droplets thus eliminating their germs from everyone within ten feet of them! Total stupidity!
It gets worse. These total ignoramuses walk by my desk and the phone starts ringing and miraculously they become employee of the month grabbing my phone to answer the call. Yuck! I’m not a total “germophobe” but all I see now is germ warfare crawling all over MY phone! They grab my pen to take a message, their hands are all over my desk and then they have the audacity to lean into my face to tell me that the person they are chatting with on the phone is nuts! WTF!
After this intimate affair with sicko has ended, I’m wiping everything down with antibacterial cloths, spraying Lysol in the air and praying to the almighty, “please, please don’t let me get sick!”