So, I’m sitting at my desk the other day and one of my coworker’s comes in and says to me “would you like a lemon?” I reply “sure I will take a few lemons.” He says “no, I can give you one lemon.” Okay!! I’m thinking to myself, you should never look a gift horse in the mouth just take the one lemon! He goes out to his car and walks back in with a plastic grocery bag and it looks really full like there might be a dozen lemons in there. I open it up and gasp “what the hell is this?” Is this a joke? I have never seen a lemon this size. This sucker is actually larger than a grapefruit. I thank my coworker for this oversized lemon and then I just sit and stare at it. I smell it to make sure it is a lemon and then I take a measuring tape to check out its size and low and behold the sucker is 21” in circumference. WTF!
Now I’m thinking to myself, this lemon must have been grown with radiation. Do I really want to eat it?? Is this my coworker’s plan to get rid of me?? I bring this monster lemon home because I’m totally fascinated by it. It is sitting on my kitchen counter and I frankly don’t know what to do with it. Maybe, I will have a barbecue and invite all my coworker’s over and they can enjoy large glasses of highly toxic lemonade with their food. Now that’s a snarky thought!! Or maybe, I will just let the sucker rot on my kitchen counter!