The Terrorist Killer
I think, I have come up with a sure fire way of getting rid of all the nasty terrorists in America. The people of this great country should contribute huge sums of money and hire John Travolta. Yes, you read it right, Mr. John Travolta, that good-looking hunk that always manages to portray the most nasty of villains! Stop my pounding heart! Just the thought of this plan gets my blood circulating with excitement.
How did this revelation come to my mind? Last night, after climbing into my wonderful bed, the remote control found my hand and I began to click away. It flashed by so quickly I almost missed it but there on my 42” screen was John, looking dapper and sinister as only he can. Warner Brothers released “Swordfish” in 2001 and it was a “must see” because two-time Academy Award nominated John Travolta would star as government spy Gabriel Shear. His bad guy mercenary character played brilliantly against Hugh Jackson’s good guy role.
Through most of the movie the spell bound audience thinks Gabriel/John is a money hungry bottom feeder with an end goal of being filthy rich! In the end though, his true identity is revealed and you, the viewer find the air in your lungs sucked out as if John himself has punched you right in the gut.
Who is this Gabriel that John immerses him self in? He is a protector of America. He is a terrorist killer. He kicks terrorist ass like no other using his stolen money to accomplish his victorious goals. No need for water boarding, sleep deprivation or long tedious interrogations he just annihilates the nasty terrorist with big explosives or manly weapons. He actually dares the terrorists to come on over to America so he can end their expectations of meeting seven lovely virgins after their death. The viewer can see in his face what he must be thinking as he ends their wasted lives, “you ain’t going to heaven assholes!”
As the movie comes to an end the hero Gabriel/John boards his elaborate yacht with beautiful Halle Berry at his side. Both are incognito and loaded with millions of dollars to help fund his continued protection of America.
So, as I lay in bed watching Gabriel/John blow up just one more boat of terrorists before the movie is over, I think to myself, “I have the solution to America’s growing concern of terrorism.” We no longer would require the services of the C.I.A., F.B.I. or Janet Napolitano if we just invested in one man. One man, who can protect us all and walk away with nothing but a slick smile on his face.
That man my friends is John Travolta!